Killing of innocents and survival of the war weary

First let me say that we all abhor the killing of innocent people in military conflict. There is never a justification, never anything one can say to right the injustice of it. And this is indeed part of what Israel is doing, and has done systematically, ever since it was founded.

In Gaza and the so called West Bank where a democratically elected Palestinian government now sits impotently, the Israeli government has ruthlessly elected to repress, harass and assassinate members of the Hamas administration.

In Lebanon, where the organisation whose name means Army of God, Hizbullah, is entrenched in rural and urban areas alike, garnering local support from often poor and disempowered populations, the fury of Israeli military aggression has been unleashed with considerable force into areas, densely populated, where the Army of God has chosen to site its military infrastructure.

In both these cases they are killing Lebanese and Palestinian civilians in far greater numbers, it would seem, than are Israeli civilians being killed by any of the suicide bus bombers, cross border rocket attacks or other means of attack deployed within the borders of Israel by her enemies.

The kidnappings of Israeli soldiers by Arab guerilla organisations in protest at Israeli holding of combatant Arab prisoners, which was the original flashpoint for this whole recent eruption, has of course been forgotten by both sides and the media. Indeed those incidents can be seen now for what many feel they really were - tactical manoeuvering to precipitate conflict, by one side or the other.

This leaves us then contemplating the current manifestation of a conflict that has raged since before the very inception of the state of Israel. Much of the Arab world does not want Israel to exist. The administrations of Syria, Iran and others would happily see the whole place bulldozed into the Med. To them and their scions Israel is nothing more than the incarnation of American/Zionist foreign policy. Indeed Israel is a tool of American foreign policy, as long as the interests of the two are aligned. For they are not one and the same even though it is difficult to conceive of a political environment where their interests might not intersect. That would require the diminution of radical, and even moderately militant, Islam. In the long wave scenario of east vs west, judaeo-christian vs islam, that day is a long way off.

Killing civilians, on purpose and as part of a political strategy informed by a strongly militaristic bent, is never right. However just because one side of an equation is not moral it does not mean that it cannot be read and understood. For what is Israel to do? As a country whose raison d'etre is almost in many ways, and for the time being, simply to survive, what is it to do when threatened? In this case the aim to is to destroy Hizbullah in Lebanon so that they can no longer fire missiles and rockets into Israeli cities and settlements. This is a very hard task as the Israeli army is finding. Army of God units are merged into rural and urban Lebanon. This means that to engage in combat and kill these fighters the Israelis must attack some heavily populated areas. In addition, it would seem that a part of Israeli military doctrine is indeed informed by the belief that terrorising civilian populations is a way to weakend support for the organisations operating in the midst of those populations. Counter intuitive? It would seem to be. It is what partly informed French and American strategy in Algeria and Vietnam and still to this day drives many of the decisions made in the Whitehouse about Iraq. Even the British operations in Helmand province in Afghanistan show elements of this thinking. Of course this element of strategy has the opposite effect from the one intended. It is a mistake that history has seen repeated many times. Hearts and Minds crossed with Scorched Earth.

Israel cannot hope to have broad support from the publics of so called liberal democracies. But neither can it afford to pay heed to those voices. As always, put in the simplest way, this is about survival and survival for Israel may be the most moral choice of all.

This article and this one, both in The Guardian Newspaper, give a partial overview of recent events.

This is the bendiest person ever.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/39096/

This looks like it comes from some eastern european place, or maybe that's misleading but anyway - how hypnotic is that shit! She is obviously pretty young still - early to mid teens I suppose - so she must have basically been born like that and kept it up from a young age. The mind boggles. I wonder if she has any aches and pains.

pet yoga cat

Earlier I was thinking of the first place I tried yoga - a so called 'power yoga' studio in Christchurch, NZ. This is a little misleading beacause those guys still rank for as some of the best teachers of ashtanga I have had and they had a great class, always busy, really informative and inspiring. After a few weeks of being there I noticed a little cat wondering around the room as we all practised - about 40 people were there. It was hilarious, a really cute ginger kitten, which bounded around and while everyone took rest you might feel a light tickle as it's whiskers brushed the souls of your feet. And the name of this kitten? Gerald the Yoga Cat.

warm winter

I went for the third acup treatment today and things are going nicely so will leave it until after the weekend for another follow up. Now getting heat to the site too which feels pretty good.

Today is a day when I normally go to practice with other people and a teacher. I feel like a change of teacher though and will perhaps go to a class run by LT, whose sessions I attended when I first arrived here at the start of 2005. She has a great practice and is a lovely woman with a very attractive approach to teaching.

Having very little to do these days, other than self imposed tasks, leaves a huge amount of time to do very little. Today I got divorced officially, it has been two years and a month since we separated and we sorted out the paperwork so the order came through today. Feels good to have totally moved on and through that whole experience. Talk about adjusting one's expectations of life and bringing awareness to where those expectations came from - the whole relationship, marriage and breakup has encompassed a huge transformation of me as a person and my view of the world and what I'm doing here. From what I want to eat and drink, to where I want to live and who with, to how I treat my body and my mind day to day things have moved on apace from London, banking July 1999 which is when we first met. Best of all, what I like about what I'm doing now and for the next few months is that I am leaving expectations and judgement to one side as much as possible. They can lead to a lot of problems. Equally, counting one's blessings, which for me include being single, healthy and happy with no responsibilities and just a little cash in the bank, are a good way to appreciate whatever may be happening around me. There is no doubt that Ashtanga has been a big factor in allowing this to occur by creating a pathway for acceptance of life as it is, and myself as I am.

This is what happens sometimes when you give yourself nothing to do. What then of my projects mentioned earlier - things like the business plan and vlogging? I still love the business plan and it is in reasonable shape. I don't have a huge motivation to engage with it at the moment. If it still looks good when I get back from Indyah then I will examine doing it wholeheartedly. There is lots of stuff there for me about taking on responsibility, coping with high levels of demand on my time and energy and also being committed to living and staying in one place for a period of time. I've put those ideas up for examination and they are around. Vlogging - it's pretty expensive to buy a camera, although it would be fun but I have to say that, having looked at a few recently, I think that blogs are just fine and can be resonant and absorbing without moving images as long as they are well written and display elements of reflection and observation. So, this will remain a blog.

This winter is turning out to be the easiest since I came to NZ. Houses here are jolly badly constructed, often with no insulation, double glazing or heating and it gets very cold and damp for several months of the year. However, the place I am living in now is insulated and easy to heat so for the first time ever I am warm and cosy for winter - which makes a huge difference to one's state of mind. Previous winters have been a shock to the system and a constant battle to stay warm. Like having to go to bed with fleece bottoms, tops and hats on then waking up in the morning and finding ice on the inside of the window - like living in a tent. No joke I can assure you.

Knees. The left one is responding very well to the treatments meted out thus far. These are - acupuncture, twice in two days, lots of arnica, ice packs (until tomorrow when it wil be heat) and being careful. Yesterday had perhaps 20% articulation of the joint, today is back to 60-70%. This feels therefore like a strain, not a tear. Remaining cautious though as there is still slight swelling and some pain if I move it too much and without awareness of the joint. Hmmm. I have joined ashtangi.net and so this blog should be visibile there shortly.

divine moments

The John Scott 'Ashtanga Yoga from the Heart' weekend has turned out for some to include glimpses of the divine - not for me though I have to say that not one teacher I have yet come across has managed to communicate so effectively, in practice, at the time of practice, the deep spiritual and emotional nature of the practice of ashtanga that sometimes makes itself felt. Over 5 two hour sessions we had a good mixture of physical practice and talk, mostly on the subject of grounding, rooting from the ground to the sky, allowing prana to flow and carry the practice. During these moments some students will feel powerful forces and emotions shifting within then. My friend JS said that as he was talking, John Scott passed her and touched her head. She thought he had put some substance on her crown because she suddenly breathed in the rich scent of a tropical bloom - perhaps a lotus flower. A glimpse of the divine. Like the penny dropping. There is something more.

At the end of the final session, as we were doing baddha padmasana, Lucy Scott came over and assisted me with the best way for me to get into the lotus position - the old hips and knees are pretty tight, but they are opening. As she was assisting, my left knee gave a pretty decent pop. That was the end of practice for me. She did a bit of craniosacral while I took rest and this morning it was stiff, sore and pretty immobile. It seemed to fit just right the way this has happened, right at the end of the workshop, just so the ever so lovely Lucy could give me some much needed yogic attention.

Anyway, enough of yogic yoga teacher crushes. This morning I went to get some acupuncture, much needed - some very sore sites mid way down the outside calf - and it appears I may have slightly torn the lateral collateral ligament. Need a week or so to see if it's torn or just badly strained but it has been niggling for many months. This is definitely going to slow things down. I took a whole week off a couple back because I could feel the knees were taking a bit too much strain, but it wasn't enough so now there is an injury. Ice for a couple of days to reduce potential swelling, then probably heat as well as some intensive acupuncture, this is the recipe. Was inspired by John Scott's recounting of his practices in the early days of being a father - sleep deprived, but getting up at 5am anyway to practice, getting to the mat and saying the opening chant then simply lying down and resting. That was his lot. Today I did 3 very careful Suryanamaskara A, then examined possible standing asana to find that none were going to work so sat and did one side of Janu sirsana A and that was it. Could be more of the same for a little while.

I am definitely getting better at tking this kind of event in my stride. For example, if I were working now then there is no way I could go in to anything other than the most undemanding things (at least in a job where physical mobility was important a it was in the world of winemaking). When I had my wisdom teeth out in January it took me 3 weeks to get my practice back to the same stage of physical fitness and suppleness as it had been at prior to the op. It freaked me out a little at the time, and I worried that I somehow might not make it to where I 'had been'. When I had the 'week off' lately I really felt it when coming back to practice. The aching arms by the end of Surya Ns was a telltale sign. This was nearly a thing of the past. But these things are false markers. Some people probably never get past the standing sequence, there's the whole of my life to work on what comes next. I'll get as far into the sequences as I get, there's nothing I can do about that. An injury is the best reminder of this. Definitely Kapha with a smidgen of vatta.

Right at the start of the world cup I got given the Italians in a sweepstake. Would have happily swapped them for several other teams. But they just won the world cup on penalties. $40 to me.

I have managed to watch about half of the total matches played in the world cup - my best ever performance. Which is more than can be said about the England team. This partly accounts for the lack of posting.

Moments to savour - for me personally, the second Argentina goal against Serbia, which must be one of the top all time world cup goals, was a real lifetime sporting high. I was watching the match on my own at a friend's house and was going absolutely potty each time the Argies scored. They were a true joy to watch. Art. Exquisite. Ahhh, who ever would have thought I might get quite so enthusiastic about football. That's what the world cup is for.

It has also proved a handy foil to having lots of spare time. Although my business plan has been progressing, my motivation has been wavering. Not so much for the idea, which I really think is a good one, but more about the whole Hawkes Bay thing. It ain't for the long term I have realised. But how long is the short term? This remains to be seen. In the meantime, my citizenship application is simmering, and I have now jumped through the last hoop under my control by sending in all papers I could find which demonstrate that NZ is my 'permanent base'. Hopefully they will make a decision before I go to India.

On the yogs front, had a whole week off the other day. Just felt like the knees were taking a bashing and needed a rest. So, now back to it. Shoulders have tightened, hips still opening nicely. It's amazing how quickly the cardio fitness goes though. Ho hum. Comes back ok too. Still feels like the whole practice is getting neater, more coordinated. One funny thing is that a really competitive side of me keeps nudging into my thoughts during and between practices. That hasn't happened since very early on. Just another example of the phases we go through I suppose.

Its been two years now. Started yoga in June 2004. It is fair to say it has become a focus of life and that it has changed my life too. I don't imagine it will always be this way. As life develops, as my priorities change and motivations shift perhaps ashtanga will be more of a background aspect of life. One day. For now it's right there, front and centre.

Getting up at 5am today to watch the second half of USA v Czech Republic was a tough one. Not that I went to bed very late, it was just hard. Still - if that's the cross I have to bear than so be it...incidentally it was good to see the yanks get a thrashing even if I maybe feel that way beacuse England got thrashed at rugby by the Aussies and also looked pathetic in the first match of the world cup....sour grapes.

It is loads of fun to be able to watch so many of the matches though, and I am making the most of it. My mate Nick sent me the above photo he took while out drinking in London over the weekend. Apparently the ball moves when you 'hit' it, although it is anchored by some string.

Today sees me back in the throes of business planning, warm and dry in my apartment while it chills down nicely outside. The business training and some recent discussions with contacts at a couple of wineries and also completion of initial research into software and market demand have brought some cohesion to proceedings and now I am tying it all together.

In terms of yoga chikitsa last night was a new first. I have been getting into Padmasana for a little while now but have been finding that the knees and hips were still tight meaning that my feet were liable to 'ping' out of the poisition after a period of time. However yesterday I noticed that things seemed a little more sustainable so I thought I'd try Utplithih - and it worked! I have to say it's a lot easier to hold it for 25 breaths than when one simply holds the legs up in simple cross leg. More than that though it just made the practice feel a lot more complete, tidy and satisfying. I was finding that last position a bit of a mountain at the end of each practice because it's exhausting as I was doing it. In full lotus position though, it really works. It's taken me nearly 2 years to get to this. Fuck it - I'm pleased!

But just as the ego was getting the better of me I found this and this - something to aim for? The most amazing thing to me is how the first dude gets himself into lotus position without even touching his own legs, while upside down.

original yogis

This stuff on YouTube is the latest cyberripple to pervade the ashtanga community, albeit in a predictably laid back way. Interesting to see dudes who learnt the practice from teachers who were born in the early 19th century. The moves really flow - very ashtanga - and of course it's all out in the bush somewhere - very yogic.

I love the jump backs. They are so slow, balanced and graceful. Enjoy. These extracts are from widely available vids (yoga schools worldwide).

Queen's birthday

Here's a wierd thing - the Kiwis have a national holiday for the official birthday of the Queen. Us Brits don't even bother.

So today is a national holiday.

This in fact means little to me. However it does give me extra license to spend time online checking out new trends and the latest ideas - the funkiest being the vlog - a personal www video diary - which look to me to be a very new feature of the web. Since about 2004 in any meaningful way. As we can see here there are basically about 600 in the US and the same again, maybe, in the rest of the world. That's new. So, in the early adopter spirit of things I think the world needs a Mysore Astanga Vlog and I'm looking at organising one. Looks pretty simple really - we need a camera and a laptop. Already 50% there. Then we have to transport equipment to India and decide on a format, or aim, of the vlog. Perhaps to introduce the world to Mysore ashtanga via video on the web, or maybe a more personal view a la video diaries. Having mulled over the idea yesterday with K and JS I we don't reckon Pattabhi Jois et al will take kindly to the concept of filming in the shala in Mysore. Nonetheless there's plenty more of interest to record. The daily experience of being there and the progression through the trip will present much to record and post.

Turns out KS's brother is a professional photographer and was full of ideas regarding equipment and how to set up for such a project.

Didn't practice yesterday, although I did start. Just didn't feel like it. The day was most certainly a wintry one and my drive was not to practice. I started and the forward bends just felt really uncomfortable. Try again later today.....