John Scott in Hawkes Bay

Still there is talk and it seems that BW is certain he will make it sometime in July. Apparently his parents live (in fact) round the corner from me and so Hawkes Bay is possibly the easiest place for him to travel to in the entire world. http://www.johnscottashtanga.co.uk/ is the site for a flavour of what he does. He has written one of the best books I have come across by a westerner on the whole astanga thing, along with Matthew Sweeney.

Anyway, from the sound of the flyers for his Auckland session it sounds really interesting - mainly because it all sounds quite new.

Perhaps something to look forward to then!

Autumn has been fab so far, really warm and sunny, although I am now in trousers most of the time it is still t-shirt weather.

Have been downloading some awesome tunes recently - favourites include grooups like Zap Mama, Hil St Soul, a couple of songs by Aya and also some great stuff by producers such as Nightmares on Wax and Naked Music NYC. Obviously on a RnB vibe these days. It has to be said though that this is the Gill Scott-Heron/Herbie Hancock influenced end of RnB rather than the Whitney end of things. So, RnB with a huge funk influence and turning into House a lot of the time. Great fun - long live the iPod.

Quiet Sunday yesterday, went to the library in the afternoon and picked out the latest home reading selection - so am now looking at part autobio stuff by Charles Bukowski, who had a pretty fucked up childhood to say the least, and was a lifetime alcoholic. Reminds me of Tobias Woolf's writing but it is even more brutal and lyrical. Also reading Uncle Tom's Cabin too - which is predictably depressing in its examination of slavery and all its horrors. Also looking forward to other novels by Robert Olen Butler (to satisfy my Vietnam story craving) and Philip Roth (about a fascist US president who sides with Hitler).

Saw Crash the other day (it has finally reached Hawkes Bay cinemas, although it is also available on DVD already). It was enjoyable enough but predictably, for US films, too clean, to convenient and way too devoid of ambiguity. Amazing that it won any oscars to be honest. Short Cuts, Robert Altman's adaptation of Raymond Carver, which is years old and much better, deserves far more attention. Also watched Remember me - an Italian film - about middle class Roman family and their trials. Like a couple of other Italian films I have seen over recent months (particularly Catherina in the City) it exposes beautifully from within domestic contexts the awfully schizoid character of daily Italian life and culture - an over-the-top obsession with glitz and supeficiality, total submission to individual needs and wants without thought for the collective from the Right and from the Left total paralysis and self doubt resulting in despair and desperate measures. The obsession with celebrity and TV, and public performance in general, as the single most important validation of individual worth is constantly fallen upon. It's as if these directors are looking to find the essential, single, problem with this aspect of contemporary Italy but once into an examination of the phenomenon they themselves are almost swamped by the vacuity and dazzling lights of the TV studio, the semi naked dancers and the crooning , perma tanned presenters.

so there

I'm bored so I'm going to bore you too. Even though I am reading an entertaining book (Bunker 13) which I can assure you is every bit as entertaining as the positive reviews state, and have dined handsomely on buckwheat pancakes and jasmine tea (fuck, how dull does that sound - though copious amounts of peanut butter sort out the pancakes), I am now at a loose end and find that going to bed at 915 is beyond even me. So, bloggin's the answer.

Spent the last two days sort of filling in at Alpha Domus since my friend JS who does the marketing for them is sick as a dog and there is still stuff that needs doing. Confirms for me that I could never do a job like that for a living - admin based and FULL of paperwork. Aaaagghhh! Still, I think in essence it is something she enjoys which is just as well. So, days full of filling in stuff and selling wine direct to the knowledge hungry public. God, people are just mesmerised by the whole idea of wine, the reasons for which are amply explored in a considerable body of literary and factual work and variously alluded to throughout history which means that I don't have to go into any of it here. But I will say that it is a pleasure to disabuse folk of many of the more tedious misconceptions about almost every aspect of the grog. Flavours are never added to the wine, they occur naturally in grapes and fermented grape juice, with the exception of flavours resulting from use of oak barrels. Pay is very bad in the winemaking industry. Winery work is not 'creative' it is food factory type stuff where you could be moving any substance around for the most part. Any creative aspects of an actual winemakers job are far outnumbered by the managerial aspects which are far more important on a practical everyday level. Good winemakers are essentially good factory/production managers, end of chat. Winery work is pretty intensive all year round, even after the mega work of vintage there is rarely a let up. Most wineries barely make a living although in the long term, if land prices go the right way, small family concerns can come out pretty healthily as has happened in NZ over the last 10 years. Of course many of these facts, and the problems they might pose in career terms are obviated if one is obsessed by some aspect of wine itself. As are many of my friends here. As I thought I was, or may have been. But of course in recent months I have developed almost an aversion to the stuff and with this aversion has come a stark apprisal of the industry as hinted at above. But that's just my view. And it isn't all bad because the wine 'dream' was what got me to NZ and I like it here. So, next dream please.

Looking at my mate Nick's blog http://nickseecharan.blogspot.com/ I see that his flikr site has attracted a comment from Julian Clary which is absolutely hilarious. What is JC doing that he has nothing better to do though than trawl blogs like that, oh, hang on, I do that too....

knees must

The knee is telling me something - specifically to slow right down. God - this attitude thing is really getting a bit hard actually. I keep seeing how out of balance my attitude is. Read Matthew Sweeney's book recently. This is a fantastically well written, brief and concise guide to all practical aspects of Astanga for Westerners. His attitude is basically 'it's not what you do but your relationship to it that is important'. Now he is centering on yoga but of course the lesson spreads out far wider and can you detect just a bit of self recrimination in the above? I don't know where its coming from but it keeps coming in waves now and is making me slow my practice down, strip it bare almost. Yesterday I did the sparest practice for ages, hardly sweated at all - which is a first - and all because I was feeling wary of the hamstring and the energy level too. Now, this morning, it's grey and rainy and I feel like things are going Pete Tong for some reason. Have fallen off the Candida wagon because life got busy and I didn't get organised enough to eat properly so now back to wondering if there is an effect from that on my energy levels and so on and so on. Repetitive isn't it. So it seems like the knee is telling me something but really all the issues are in the mind. Attitude. I suppose you have to take the rought with the smooth. So, observe, don't judge, and keep doing it.

Got the call to go into Alpha Domus and do a day's work because their marketing/sales person is ill so have been busy with that. Gave me a chance to put together elements of the promotional material for this work I intend to do for them. Have negotiated a decent price and so now need to get it going - should be later this week.

intermediate blogging

Well, we have a long weekend along with the rest of the Judaeochristian world and for me this means a pretty relaxing few days - got to got to Napier and buy a friend's 30th birthday present, get a massage today - the Hamstrings are gonna get some attention - and brunch at K&J's tomorrow.

Looked like a trip to Auckland was going to be necessary as John Scott is doing a long weekend thing at http://www.yoga.co.nz, the Yoga academy, but then last night at practice there was talk of him coming to Hawkes Bay which would be a real coup, and my first chance to practice with another SKPJ blessed teacher. Exciting.

Woke up really early this morning, 6am, even though it was extra quiet outside and I could have slept for hours - but was waking and so thought I'd read some and before I knew it I was wide awake. So I got up and made some tea, put on the iPod (latest acquisitions Zap Mama and Hil St Soul plus the old album by Tosca 'Suzuki' which is really good too) and washing and read some more of the Matthew Sweeney 'Astanga Yoga As It Is' that I was pursuaded to buy yesterday - he does have a lot of useful stuff to convey, practical advice and insight on integrating practice to life and above all a really supportive, affirmative tone to his writing and instruction - he conveys the attitude brilliantly and thus communicates the pleasure and positivity in the practice without sounding sanctimonious or patronising.

Medium energy yesterday, could only manage half of the lifts at the end, but on the upside Marichy B saw me bound on both sides, I think this is the first time and heralds an apparent end to the knee injury. What is really uncomfortable is the ankles in these asana. Althought there is more and more give and less discomfort. Got some really deep ujjayi breath, right into the back of the throat and felt strong around navasana where I normally flag - this is something that has happened a couple of other times in the last few weeks. I hope it can continue. Looking at upping the ante in terms of practices per week, perhaps 4 times a week although I might do 3 full and one light practice to begin. Last week went like that, and it takes me time to build up the stamina and strength so no rush. There are a lot of internal shifts and energy is coming out in surprising ways during the practice at the moment which is really great to work with.

Workwise, have finished at Alpha Domus but they have agreed to the trial and we have settled a price too - now its up to me to make that percentage work for me and sell as much wine as possible to these people. Should start early pat of week, we just need to put together some email based docs to sex it up for the punters and underline the medals/trophies that have been won recently as well. Only need to call 97 people for the trial. The full thing would be closer to 1000. A few weeks work, though not all day every day as most people will receive a call in the evening, so I suppose a couple of hours a night is all it would take. That could yield a very attractive hourly rate in the end - like NZ$60-80 depending on how well I do. Hmmm. Work smart sounds good to me.

Cyber spatting

Well, since the last post, which caused a few ripples, the event known as a cyber spat has occured between me and my mate - which we still have not concluded. this is a uniqu event in my experience and represents a hidden danger of blogging anf cyber space. Emotions can run high it would seem and the room for misconstruing what is being communicated. Here's to a happy conclusion.

Otherwise things are busy as usual, the weather has returned to something like pleasant warm and autumnal and the yoga is still moving nicely.

The catering idea is meeting with a warm reception on the 'doorstep' although this hsa yet to translate into any bookings. Nonetheless people are very receptive to the idea and also very open to being approached in this direct, unsolicited way. This bodes well for the other business idea too. Also, people are tremendously encouraging in that typical Antipodean way that one can begin to take for granted after living here for a while. It was fun to encounter it again, afresh. With the catering, generally people are not satisfied with the offer from local restaurants and our target market is indeed in this category. Additionally they all entertain a fair bit and most of them seem to be open to the idea of palming off the hard work onto someone else - great. Feel like I'm pushing at an open door so just gotta keep leaning on it and a trickle could start. That's all we're after for the moment.

Elsewhere, specifically in the wine industry, the marketing strategy is going to be trialled if we can agree a price. This is in fact my favourite bit of business, the price negotiation. Why? God only knows. For me I guess it seems fairly exciting. Rewarding even, and I enjoy the ups and downs of negotiating this end of the nitty gritty. I want 20%, they probably dont want to pay more than 15%. I think my bottom line might be around 18% so we should get there.

Yoga - still going well and the knee is slowly easing as it has been for a few weeks now. Hamstring pretty tight and twangy/twingey though which feels like a gentle warning. Am listening. 3 days a week feels good but I am looking to move up to 4 which should be practicable. I am definitely sweating a lot less recently - this has not really changed much in the near 2 years since I started but now it is moving a bit which is nice because it was actually starting to get a bit annoying getting so soaked at each practice. Had one of the 'lightest' practices ever yeaterday. Also really starting to feel very grounded through my hands when they are on the floor and taking my weight, say in jump backs or forwards. Working up to taking my whole weight and one day mastering that beautiful slow movement of feet from downward dog to between feet. Now that would feel satisfying. There is more on the yoga but it will be as part of my Road to Mysore post that is under construction.

Weekend is here - not much planned socially but looking forward to it and will have fun whatever I'm sure.

what is the function of this?

Some people really do put it all on the table - well I'm not one of them. This blog will not contain detail about every aspect of my life. Partly because of privacy issues with the internet and partly because it isn't very interesting for others to know the real minutiae of others lives sometimes. Nonetheless the question is still there - what are blogs for? A lot of people I have chatted with about the idea here express a lot of suspicion, even disapproval about the idea, as did my Father who has a seemingly dismissive approach to the idea of blogging. Those who are suspicious seem to wonder why one would commit musings to screen. But we all have an internal dialogue and this can be augmented and altered, observed and learned from if parts of it are externalised. Just like a diary - yes, but of course diaries aren't public. As for the dismissives among you, like Dad and another mate of mine who while having his own blog felt like criticising mine for being 'ashtanga centred', all I can say is 'so what?'.

Had another day of low level but continuous mental stimulation from various acts of selling, including trying to keep the bosses in line about this business idea - there seems to be a third hand in the equation, perhaps another external consultant, who is pulling opinion away from the discussion I want to have. NNNggggg! Won't let it happen.

As forecast, practice good, feeling strong, straight leg jump throughs and hand planted firmly on the floor too. There are incremental improvements almost every time I practice at the moment. That is a surprising state of affairs. Also getting a lot less sweaty too which is partly the cooler weather now but also a function of physical exertion too. Arms and shoulders a lot stronger, and mental approach also different even to a few weeks ago. Just letting myself do it, almost like letting the practice happen through me in a wierd kind of way. Reminding me of Foucault, discourse and power but this of course thankfully is not an intellectual realm. Yoga is the antithesis of intellect. CC asked, genuinely, having never really examined the concept, the other day over dinner 'what is enlightenment?' How's that for low key banter over the evening meal.

Have recently downloaded a lot of british techno sets from pete tong et al. They are awesome. The only problem is that listening to them makes me want to go out clubbing. Very much. Secretly trying to come up with an excuse for a holiday in Sydney and thus reason to go mad with dance music and all attendant niceties.....not very yogic, and definitely hard to recover from but a SHIT LOAD of fun! This is definitely the bit of me that is easily persuaded to do things addictively. I'm amazed frankly that I never ended up a total junkie at uni or wherever. There is definitely that characteristic lurking - risk taking, hedonistic etc. But the other side knows how hard the recovery can be and I think this is what has always kept me in check. Focusing on yoga allows that voice a greater say, allows more awareness of the need for this base and consequently I view it as the good side, where I know how to care for myself. But there's nothing wrong with breaking the rules big style now and then. I guess the trip to India will have to take in some Sydney time maybe at either end.

the man from Delmonte...

Well, they went for it at the winery, at least they went for the idea of a trial anyway. So this means I gotta come up with a plan now and also actually do some work too! Mum made very good suggestion of getting set up as a sole trader so that all expenses etc can be put through as income vs tax...good thinking Mum! Still a little wet behind the ears....

Also went to the point of buying a diary the other day because I nearly missed an appointment. AP laughed at me and said that her filofax from London days was 'emptied of pages and used only as a wallet nowadays'. I said I hoped it was at least full of cash.23c apparently. So, now have diary, will soon have company structure in place and should also sort out car and some nicer clothes too as need to present coherent adult like image to the world...sound familiar? How the fuck did I manage to sound like Bridget Jones just then?

Reading a cool thriller by Jose Latour about a Cuban American escaping to Florida - very slick, cool hero, the pages almost redolent of the heat and humidity of Havana and Miami.

Energy good, went to G and A's yesterday for dinner before which we did a practice. First time I did the jump through with nearly straight legs, which was a surprise as wasn't aiming for it. A hard floor really helps. Also feeling steadier in headstand and connecting pretty well with the lower tum bundhas in that position too. Satisfying. Feels like the knee is improving - I think I was pretty close to screwing it big time the other day. Lucky to get away with it being stiff for a month. In the meantime am managing to bind around left knee in Marichi B which is something I thought would never happen, and even starting to see Marichi D coming into view. Its all in the attitude.....

Tomorrow practice at Warwick Road, looking forward to that and the next few days - or weeks. Feels good. The power of yoga is an amazing thing, truly divine. I love it.

what is ashtanga like in Hawkes Bay?

Must say I have enjoyed reading a few yoga blogs recently, although I do wonder about some people's need to put everything on the table. Or maybe it just looks like everything...

One good one is http://blogs.ashtangi.net/ElephantsBelly/ which appears to me to be authentic and certainly not contrived for an audience. Another is http://practiceashtanga.blogspot.com/ which is similarly genuine, and written from the heart. I can relate to these guys - at least in blogging terms anyway. When I figure out how to post links on this damn template they'll be there. Both these dudes live in SF and unsuprisingly the scene there is fairly busy - with lots of different shalas, huge numbers of people doing ashtanga, let alone other types of yoga like Iyengar, Bikram, Kundalini etc and other associated activities like Pranayama meditation, Sanskrit studying and so on.

This brought to my mind the idea of describing the ashtanga environment here in Hawkes Bay, NZ. I had begun to practice regularly about 6 months before arriving here but had not really got to the point where I had a coherent practice of my own. This was because I had been fairly mobile and thus unable to attend a mysore or led practice regularly. However, upon arriving here I pretty much made it a priority to find a regular base in which to practice, particularly since I was sharing a house and practicing at home was not viable. I happened on the group of people who constitute ashtanga yoga here fairly easily. There are only about 30 people who I would say practice regularly - this in an area with a population of around 100,000. Most are women which doesn't surprise me since there is no big gay population and a lot of NZ men (and others) are pretty resistant to the idea of anything called yoga. This estimate is based on how many people have attended Peter Sanson workshops here. Anyone who is keen will have been since it is essentially the only outside influence we get. Practice locations are organised by BW, who has practiced for over 15 years, and supervised by him and sometimes SH or my mate KS, both women in their 40s with families. So a typical week for me is practice at location in Hastings on Monday pm, then another practice at a different Hastings location Thursday pm. Neither are purpose astanga locations though they are both ok. They are certainy cheap, self practice in either costs $10 for regulars. On a Saturday am one can go to Napier to practice in the Community Centre though recently I have favoured practice at home as Napier is 25 mins drive. So I practice 3 or sometimes 4 days a week. This will increase, I can feel it.

Workshops are thus very important in terms of the chance to absorb yoga from a teacher if one is looking for that side of progression in the practice. Of course there is the social side of things, predictably tending towards the vegetarian, teetotal sort of stuff. Often centered around the workshops these can be a good chat over the espresso after practice or dinner at someone's house or a restaurant (average Indian, cause average is all there is round here). Nonetheless the social element is important and for me at least is a very good reason to be doing it, though I really feel like I would do it even if I knew no-one at a given Shala and never got to know them. Because of the quiet nature of life in NZ it is easier to put something like ashtanga in a central position in your life. The temptation to put energy into the 'bar scene' such as it is or other similar life styles is minimal to non existent for me. These aspects of life here hold little appeal because of their limited sophistication and relative banality. Sound snobby? Well, I can say that of course my perspective is influenced by having travelled, lived and worked in some pretty decent cities of the world - Capetown and London both spring to mind as well as SF, Paris, Berlin too - but it isnt really this. I would go out to bars and restaurants here if they were any good even though I don't currently drink very much. They are simply dull and its more fun to socialise in other contexts as a result. So, NZ is quiet, which is a good thing, and Hawkes Bay exemplifies that. Thus all the people to whom ashtanga is important probably appreciate both sides of the 'NZ is dull' argument from where we are.

Having said all that, it would be lovely to have an ashtanga dedicated space. There is a yoga room in Napier but the woman who runs it is not interested in wholly including astanga. Other options or possibilities have not been adopted and investigated by anyone - you need a lot of ashtangis to make a dedicated space viable. Shame. Like I said, it would be nice. Some well lit, warm, quiet rooms with neutral colours, a hard floor, comfortable changing and shower facilities, a welcoming but smart, cool, funky feel. Would be bliss of course. Would also put the price up. But hey, folks pay a fortune for gym memberships and stuff round here so it can't be impossible. There is no reason why further on down the line I might not want to get involved in trying to set this kind of thing up. We need a primo yoga teacher to come here. Peter Sanson would be perfect!

Hopefully that gives a flavour. If it doesn't I'll try to flesh it out later. In the meantime I would love to hear how others in simialr situations have seen things develop over time. Any suggestions welcomed!

couple 'a good ones

Practices that is. weather's turned to shit all of a sudden - soggy and grey, most unlike Hawkes Bay. Tropical storm ripped into Qld a few days ago and it must be the spill over from that system, just dumping rain on these normally fairly dry plains and hills. Just like the UK.

Practice busy tonight - the Thurday class is getting back up to strength. Couple of newbies including unexpected return of my old flatmate CC who I thought would never give it a go. Well done her.

My knee slowly opening again but I must say that for such an innocuous little click the other week it sure has had a big effect - have had to seriously address the hamstring thing with alternate hot and cold compresses to try and alleviate tightness and its still there. Going slowly on that right side. So Marichis are coming, but only one sided now. A lesson in patience.

Still enjoying the wine sales, some good people through today, very outgoing, interested. A lovely Irish girl who could have easily had my heart - except there was a guy in tow. Always the way! It is satisfying to be able to explain the basics to people on the back of my (limited) winemaking knowledge. Pity it doesnt pay.

On the catering front, put an order in for small initial publicity literature, then it'll be down to me to get out there door to door and test themarket. Luckily the market is right where I live so will start locally. Guess I need to work out my sales patter. Luckily I have no problem coming up with that kind of stuff.

The anti canidida diet is underway - not very difficult actually and havent had any severe sugar withdrawal like the first time I did it. But then I was living in a different environment to say the least. Pressure, money and one hell of an unhealthy lifestyle. So, will do this for a while plus tweak a couple of other things like start to clean out the liver and then order some 3Lac and start getting into it seriously and see how bad the candida is this time round. Its just a hunch anyway so it may be mild, in which case great it will not take months to clear it out. I wonder if my mate FB in London has tried it. Someone who has got terrible health issues with no clear diagnosis. Like Sis could end up being the dreaded Candidiasis....

Night n Day

It took most of the last two weeks but my practice again felt heavenly today. Truly. Heavenly. Strong lifts, good steady energy, fun to see a few new faces in the room, beautiful linking vinyasas, heat, supple mind, deep forward bends in standing poses. Lightness reared its head breifly a few times. So nice to glimpse it. Take it a bit slower, feel that one might one day perceive Prana more clearly.

What a relief - particularly after I read through Russell's http://www.mysoremusings.com and got a really sick feeling about the type of person one might be to be dependent on ashtanga. I really asked myself if it was a dependence, an addiction of some sort. Aired that with a few friends who have relatively advanced practices here - there was some shock. I don't use the word lightly. There was. We all reflected I think. Many of us had been struggling with some retrograde palnetary stuff the last few weeks - someone mentions Mars. Anyway, I think it is over. Nasty emotions, doubts and low energy can take a back seat.

My right knee is improving as well - had some focused massage over the weekend from my great masseuse HH. She really worked on the Hamstring which was siezing up and making the whole right side of me begin to tighten. When I started astanga a little over 18 months ago it was for problems on the left side. Now tightness is on the right.

Spoke to KS today and she said that both she and our teacher here had remarked last year that they felt I was really 'going at' the practice. Maybe I was. Perhaps I was lucky not to injure myself more seriously and earlier. A littel brush with the knee thing has given me a chance to reflect, in particular and more widely, about my practice. It isnt going to disappear. It is good even if there is no progress in asanas for a while. The spiritual peace is there. It remains centering. This is the aim- health and wellbeing. This function itself is healthy. Nothing else need cloud the picture. Ashtanga people can often be slightly obsessive, compulsive, addictive types from what I have seen. Luckily we arent all hopeless drunks hanging on by a thread.

Tomorrow back to (part time) work. Over the next few weeks need to find other similar as this is temporary at http://www.alphadomus.co.nz. I hope to combine part time work with other income to see me through to September when India beckons. By then I might have a structure for afterwards.

Yesterday did some homework for VN in the morning and then went for a stroll on Ocean Beach. It was pristine weather, 25C, no wind, scant cloud cover. Walked an hour or so down the beach and had a few hundred metres of it to myslf. Read for a while, dosed, watched surfers play in the small glassy surf. Felt some good peace.