Thursday, March 30, 2006

what is the function of this?

Some people really do put it all on the table - well I'm not one of them. This blog will not contain detail about every aspect of my life. Partly because of privacy issues with the internet and partly because it isn't very interesting for others to know the real minutiae of others lives sometimes. Nonetheless the question is still there - what are blogs for? A lot of people I have chatted with about the idea here express a lot of suspicion, even disapproval about the idea, as did my Father who has a seemingly dismissive approach to the idea of blogging. Those who are suspicious seem to wonder why one would commit musings to screen. But we all have an internal dialogue and this can be augmented and altered, observed and learned from if parts of it are externalised. Just like a diary - yes, but of course diaries aren't public. As for the dismissives among you, like Dad and another mate of mine who while having his own blog felt like criticising mine for being 'ashtanga centred', all I can say is 'so what?'.

Had another day of low level but continuous mental stimulation from various acts of selling, including trying to keep the bosses in line about this business idea - there seems to be a third hand in the equation, perhaps another external consultant, who is pulling opinion away from the discussion I want to have. NNNggggg! Won't let it happen.

As forecast, practice good, feeling strong, straight leg jump throughs and hand planted firmly on the floor too. There are incremental improvements almost every time I practice at the moment. That is a surprising state of affairs. Also getting a lot less sweaty too which is partly the cooler weather now but also a function of physical exertion too. Arms and shoulders a lot stronger, and mental approach also different even to a few weeks ago. Just letting myself do it, almost like letting the practice happen through me in a wierd kind of way. Reminding me of Foucault, discourse and power but this of course thankfully is not an intellectual realm. Yoga is the antithesis of intellect. CC asked, genuinely, having never really examined the concept, the other day over dinner 'what is enlightenment?' How's that for low key banter over the evening meal.

Have recently downloaded a lot of british techno sets from pete tong et al. They are awesome. The only problem is that listening to them makes me want to go out clubbing. Very much. Secretly trying to come up with an excuse for a holiday in Sydney and thus reason to go mad with dance music and all attendant niceties.....not very yogic, and definitely hard to recover from but a SHIT LOAD of fun! This is definitely the bit of me that is easily persuaded to do things addictively. I'm amazed frankly that I never ended up a total junkie at uni or wherever. There is definitely that characteristic lurking - risk taking, hedonistic etc. But the other side knows how hard the recovery can be and I think this is what has always kept me in check. Focusing on yoga allows that voice a greater say, allows more awareness of the need for this base and consequently I view it as the good side, where I know how to care for myself. But there's nothing wrong with breaking the rules big style now and then. I guess the trip to India will have to take in some Sydney time maybe at either end.

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